Tuesday, September 11, 2012

There's this feeling I can't describe... oh wait...yes I can it's TERROR


I am not really even sure why I am writing this blog right now...because I don't think that words can even describe what I am feeling. I'll break down how the day went and then maybe I will have a clearer head to think with (and be productive with). 

I fell asleep at 9PM last night. Yep, I am a true party animal. I was happy though because at 6AM I was ready to go. After the gym I got an iced-cap with chocolate milk (HORRIBLE and totally not Starbucks) and got to the lab to... be productive. And productive I was...NOT. I was interrupted with Biograds business amongst many other things until almost 11AM. Then in my email, I received two papers that I was told I would go over with my supervisor in our meeting at 2PM. The first paper I had read and cited many times before, so I quickly reviewed it and moved on...I moved on to what at first seemed like my absolute worst nightmare. There was a paper published online back in April that, to sum it up, completely goes against, and contradicts all the interpretations and conclusions from my first and only published paper. At first I was ecstatic, I saw the words “reproductive economy” in the title and immediately went to the references and indeed, my paper was cited there. I was so happy… until I read the abstract. I quickly skimmed the paper assuming I would watch my whole paper fall to pieces and all my beliefs and hypotheses crumble… but I wasn’t devastated, I was PISSED! The authors completely mis-understood the entire idea of reproductive economy, and their models, their field experiments ALL had flaws in them. I had a TA meeting and then the meeting with my supervisor and I was happy that he felt the same way about the paper that I did. Funny thing is that he knew about the paper months ago (even before my MSc defense) and decided not to tell me so that it wouldn’t freak me out. That, I am thankful for! Now it’s time to tear that paper to shreds and make note of everything that is wrong with it!

So the first paper he sent me is a review about what measures competitive ability in plants and was published in 2002. Since conveniently it’s the ten year anniversary of that paper, why not redo it? That was an immediate thought I had when I was skimming through it and the first thing my Supervisor suggested to me. Ok so, that’s two things to do… ok. Got it.

I can’t forget that 3.5 months ago, I defended my MSc and it needs to be published sooner rather than later, especially given this sudden interest in the subject! K. Three things. Oh yeah, and I still have field work that needs to be done. I am 60% through the recruitment project I have set up at Wire Fence so I need to be done that and ASAP. And when I am done that I need to write that up into a paper as well. Ok, now I am lost.

Suddenly all of this has gotten super-overwhelming and I have no idea where to begin! I am literally TERRIFIED.
So it seems like I have a lot to do and will be keeping very busy! Wait so why am I writing a blog then? 

No comments:

Post a Comment